Who am I

Usually I know the answer to this question 

I recently ended a relationship with a narcissist who, to me in hindsight, is a survivor of child abuse and clearly on the dissociative spectrum (not yet self aware)

If I had dated a “normal” person I could have just processed it and let go. But as F said he wasn’t a normal person. Part of him was a good guy who was fun and awesome and liked me. Part of him just wanted to be friends. Part of him was the survivor who just wanted to be rescued and was still in a trauma state. Part of him was a lying cheating narcissist who was emotionally abusing me and draining me of all happiness. 

When I found out that he had tried to date someone else I was finally able to walk away from him. I don’t think it was the first time.  It wasn’t easy. I’m still finding it hard not to talk to him. He msgd me all day every day, I was his “supply”. 

But having finally put all of the stories together and figured out what actually happened I think I can put this down. I hope I can put this down and focus on me. 

I have been working with my coping skills to keep my anxiety levels in normal range. 

But who am I now?