Tag Archives: mental-health

emptying the box

here i am again. lots of voices inside all trying to talk at the same time. so i have made the executive decision to let multiple parts post together. we’ll just see how that goes. could be a mess. could … Continue reading

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A little bit of truth

I have been trying to deal with some truths about my abuse that have been very gently shared with me by my internal system. I seem to have curled into a ball and tried to stop communicating with the outside … Continue reading

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feelings . . .

today the feelings started. those intense, deep, feelings that drag me down like rocks into the ocean. not the nice fluffy feelings that help me to remember that the world is still beautiful. the feelings connected to the abuse memories. … Continue reading

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being ok with my new internal system

it has been almost a week. i think. of living with the “new to me” internal system. things are not that different. they really aren’t. the knowledge of how my life works is still accessible. i went to work. the … Continue reading

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when your world turns on its head

i realize i may have been a bit naive. it seemed to me that i had discovered how my internal system works. what was left was to deal with the aftermath of the abuse and life in general.  that seems to … Continue reading

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flashbacks. a word that can shake even the strongest person. a new cycle has begun. not the most pleasant thing. but it brings with it information.  i have had several cycles of flashbacks over the last couple of years. i … Continue reading

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integration aftermath

this past week has brought about the aftermath of integration within my internal system. there have been a few different reactions from different parts. the first one was shock. a reaction from the core part of the system. being kept … Continue reading

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it has been difficult to write lately. i wanted to talk a little bit about secrecy. it is something that has been ingrained into my system. it is part of the way i have survived for such a long time. compartmentalized. … Continue reading

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shut down

it has been incredibly difficult to write lately. mostly because the system has been triggered and in various stages of “shut down”. i believe this is different for all systems. but some basic elements remain the same. for my system … Continue reading

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reactions that are too big

i  recently had several parts react to an event. the initial reaction seemed ok. but then the emotions continued to increase in intensity. the reaction now seemed out of proportion to the event. so i asked around inside. to find … Continue reading

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