Author Archives: feral55

I find myself in a cycle of grief again. I feel a great loss. The more I watch other people, learn how they balance everything, I find all of these experiences that I don’t have.  Other people have childhoods, family … Continue reading →

i have always been in search of balance. In search of calm. When I am calm, everyone else is calm. Functioning is so much easier when everyone is calm. Hijacking doesn’t happen. Littles don’t freak out and trigger PTSD episodes. … Continue reading →

So I have come to the security of the anonymous world of my blog to air some thoughts that have been circling in my head. Maybe get some advice. We haven’t been in any kind of relationship for a few years … Continue reading →

I’ve been thinking lately, why did my integration cycles increase? I don’t know why they happen. I have no control over them. They get in the way. They are a byproduct of my healing journey. When things are processed and … Continue reading →

its been a while. Lots of things have happened. We have settled after our two most recent integration cycles. Functioning is back to ‘normal’. We have had a few emails and a phone call to previous G. We have ridden … Continue reading →

I have been buried in my studies. Happy under a pile of books expanding my brain. My intellectual parts were having the best time ever. Then I got sick. To be more accurate, our body contracted the flu from overdoing … Continue reading →

I have been studying for exams and finishing assignments and being in my student bubble. I tried to keep a balance but things got out of balance. I had a fugue and someone deleted an assignment the day it was … Continue reading →

I am having one of those evenings. Where I question everything. I have set myself on a path. Pushed myself to the limit and found some walls. I realised tonight that half of my life memories are missing. I am … Continue reading →