So I have come to the security of the anonymous world of my blog to air some thoughts that have been circling in my head. Maybe get some advice. We haven’t been in any kind of relationship for a few years now. Agreements were made, terms settled, we moved into dealing with other, deeper matters that required our attention for stabilisation. Something happened in the last couple of days that has brought this topic to the front of the queue.
We needed an extension for an assignment, and so revealed ourselves to someone at the university, as is required to clarify why we should be given an extension. After doing this we have had email communication about queries to do with the assignment. In the usual manner of post-PTSD episode there was some hyper-vigilance and making sure our confidentiality was kept by said person. This resulted in George noticing something familiar about said person and finding that attractive. Obviously that’s not cool, is it?
I don’t think we would action this, that would be extremely awkward and not at all within the boundaries of the university. The question remains, where did this come from? Will it go back there? What the hell is going on?
We haven’t been attracted to anyone in a very long time. Honestly I don’t know what to do with this. I managed to get George to agree not to be present during the next, and last encounter with this person. Is this just a correction of a power imbalance, due to our diagnosis being known by someone we don’t really know? If we manage to get through this last encounter without incident, will these feelings go away over time or has George just reopened Pandora’s box?