I have been trying to study. Mostly failing to do so. Prepping but not finishing. Getting most of the way there but not quite making it all the way. It has been a journey of frustration. A very big lesson in accepting myself, all of myself.
Sometimes I forget that I am dissociative. To be more exact, I remember that I am dissociative but forget that all my parts need space. Everyone needs their own time to do what they like. I guess it was easy to do as I am studying a double degree, which means that I am studying about 100 hrs a week with lectures, tutorials and labs on top.
It reminded me just how difficult “normal” life used to be for me and my village. Getting out of bed and functioning was sometimes just a dream. Eating healthy food and exercising was almost impossible with no sharing of memories. Forget yoga, having clean clothes was hard enough most of the time. The little things in life that seemed so hard, now are just part of my routine.
A friend of mine recently became aware that she has parts. Seeing her struggle and realise just how hard things are for her right now, made me grateful that I have been able to find my way to where I am now. I guess I am in self reflective mode.
No matter what mode I am in I know I have my village to help.