between a rock and a hard place

Hey everyone. Things have been a roller coaster ride lately. For those of you who know me, it’s Al. For those who don’t, I am the first adult part in our system. I am kind of the internal architect. I have been the main part dealing with the world lately.

Our day system shut down again. That is one of my responsibilities. When things get too hard I shut a sub system down to keep them safe. The problem is I never know how to get them back. Old T would help me get them back when one sub system was active. Now we have two sub systems both being active. So the night system is still functioning.

The thing is on Halloween something horrible happened. When it became real for the day system it was too much. They all started to freak out. So I shut them down.
Unfortunately we cannot work through the issues that come from that event as it involves a part who carries a lot of traumatic memories.

I feel kind of stuck. So when I found fruit loops for breakfast (the pictures is of a bowl of fruit loops) I decided to look at the positives. We are still functioning. We are still going to work. T is contacting outside resources to try and help us find a way through this.

Just needed to write this out.

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