I have been slowly weaning my parents off contacting me.
Down to a phone call every two weeks.
Pretty good right?
I looked at the date today and realized my birthday is soon. All kinds of stuff started coming up inside. Memories and unsettledness.
I am also reminded that they are coming to visit soon. Another unwelcome event.
I started this with a purpose and now I just feel horrible. I don’t want to see them or talk to them. My T explained that we need to go slowly with cutting off contact. Easing my littles into no contact as they are ready.
I just don’t know how much longer I can do this. The phone calls are repetitive. T says its about programming. Which is why they resisted the weekly phone calls becoming fortnightly.
I just don’t like this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I want them to go away and leave us all alone. I can’t pretend to be happy to talk to them any more. Or be welcoming about their false caring and closeness that is, to me, obviously fake. It just feels wrong. I don’t want to do it any more. I hate feeling stuck.
Both my options seem like the picture. Do I pick the greasy pipe or the sewer pipe? Really what is the difference?