I had a friend stay for a week recently. Someone who I have known for years and trust. We did a culinary journey of where I live. I never knew that there were so many places that sold burritos.

Now that I am back to eating healthy food. I have my cave to myself. My littles are running around free again. Giraffe has reappeared on my couch. Things seem back to normal.

Things are very far from normal. For a week I slept in my bed instead of on my couch. Now everyone wants to sleep up there. Which I guess is ok. I booked a week long yoga intensive. Where you do yoga at 0630. I’m not a morning person. But I gave it a try. I could handle the larger number of people in the class. I even managed to handle the heavy breathing male who set up next to me out of a class full of women. When a second instructor spent the hour and a half walking around the class helping people with corrections without asking if she could touch them, my anxiety sky rocketed. I tried to go the second day. I was out voted. We vote on stuff you see. It was all too much for many parts. So no more yoga this week for us. Well I have a yoga room. And my littles want to go and do headstand and shoulder stand and other fun things. We have agreed to do that later today.

I have an extra session with G today. To work on processing some of the grief of letting go of our previous T. We saw her on a train and all of my parts tried to vacate consciousness at the same time. It’s the first time we have seen her since the last session. From the reaction I think some parts are hiding their feelings. So today we will focus on grief. Maybe work on some of our abandonment issues.

For my friends who can’t see the pic is of a small child called squee. It’s a graphic novel the boys are reading. Kinda dark and venting of heavy feelings. But a cool picture.

Image | This entry was posted in journal, self care, therapy and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Caveness

  1. Bourbon says:

    (((hugs))) just cos xxx

  2. aynetal3 says:

    There’s a lot going on with your life – especially within the world of your parts. I think you do as we do in trying to keep life basically normal, because there is so much more going on in the inside. I can appreciate the effort you put toward ideals and plans like with your yoga and the little garden. It seems both are a matter of calming your minds and spirit. Also, like you we seem to know from the older parts that the abuses are over, but also know that for the inner circles their experience of life is yet uncleared. Maybe in our own ways we are becoming more responsible and inwardly accountable by providing stability for them so that they too can have chance of emoting expressively. Nothing is easy, but from what I understand there is so much value to be taken in by the whole interactive process. Looking forward to one small success over another. Sleep is good! If we as multiples lacked one big thing in our life – it was assistance in learning to cope. Each time I see a bigger now teaching a younger … my sense or faith in humanity is restored. Nice work! Nice Journey!!!

    Always our best,

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