It has been a long couple of days. Lots of sleeping and memory recovery. I have discovered that I have a team of parts who are like paramedics for my littles.
A new little will come forward. Usually in great distress, stuck in a memory of abuse. From inside they look like they have just come from the memory. Covered in bruises and blood. Then team little, as I am calling them, gently approach. They talk to the little part, calming them and gaining their trust. Reorienting them in 2012. Making sure that they know they are safe. Then a nurturer will hold the little and stroke their hair.
This is when the marks and blood disappear. I can see the little me who just wanted to play and be loved in a non sexual way. Then team little take little me to their new room inside. The little part can imagine anything and it appears in their room. Some littles have woods with a treehouse, one has a big pink castle, another the night sky.
After all of this horror there is still such beauty inside.