We have been silent for a while. Today was a big day for us. Had not seen G in a month. G is our therapist.
Have been working a lot and talking inside. Keeping a balance and letting everyone have a little space when we can.
Took our sketch book and giraffe and went to see G. Mostly it was calm. We talked a bit about the ritual abuse. There are many drawings in the sketch book. Flashbacks have been speeding up. Repeats of the same memories.
We talked a little bit about our internal structure. About the parts we can’t see. Can’t talk to. Why they are separate from us. Talked a bit about programmed parts. That is when it became hard to stay in the room. I knew G was talking and those parts were coming forward and listening. I had to fight to stay in my body and not be sent away.
This has not happened before. Things are ok. I am just in a bit of shock about having these parts try to take over. Finding out more about what has happened inside. Having my littles share more memories with me. My protectors kept them back from feeling things with G. Told me it wasn’t time yet. I understand now. It’s a lot to take in just this.
On the bright side, my blocker has realized that it is safe for us to write here again.