i want to say that i woke up when my alarm went off and i got into my car and drove into the rain. but i didn’t my alarm went off and i received a txt from confirmed friend, who said she wasn’t coming. then i looked outside with my ears and heard the rain. thought about it for a second. said to myself “i’ll just close my eyes for a second”. when i woke up it was dark again.
i did however get out of my house and walk down to the shop. which is an achievement in itself. i have been staying inside my cave, i mean house, a lot lately. i have also been sleeping a lot lately. depressed a bit. recovering memories and processing new information about my internal system. its made me kinda tired. but i still have hope.
tomorrow is another day. anything could happen.i might go see a movie. i might make it to the forest and wander around. i could go outside and read a book. the boys (internal male parts) want to play a new xbox game we bought them for not drinking a while back. that could be fun. i think what i am saying is that the couch and tv is not my only option. it has been a while since i have been able to see that.
i am taking this as a positive change. both in mood and spirit. i can see that there are other things i can do with my time when not working. some parts have made a list, i simply haven’t looked at it in a while. i think its time to start doing things again. to start living life. maybe not sleeping all day.
this picture is of some awesome blue clouds over sparkling water. i think they look like they have a silver lining.