image credit: me
i have just, hopefully, processed the last of the grief from changing therapists. we had a good cry after reading our last email to her. sat around the fire pit inside and remembered our favourite moments with her. how she helped us. that all things in life change and come to an end. this is something we have struggled with in the past.
processing grief is new to us. we feel sad and usually we either cry and get over it or the male parts start drinking. numbing and avoidance have been our most used coping mechanisms in the past. its time to learn some new ones.
working a lot has also come under the banner of avoidance. i used to work 120 hours a week. just because i could. it meant that i didn’t have to really interact with the outside world. i never had to make friends outside of work. deal with crowds or school holidays. i pretty much lived at work and slept. pretty clever way to avoid the big elephant in the corner. these days we work when we want to. i have parts who do different jobs. so i can sit down with everyone inside and choose which employer to work for when. no one can dictate to us when we have to work. we design work around our lives.
not interacting with the world became a habit. habits are hard to break. something that has helped us over time is learning to say no to work and yes to things like counselling. going to counselling on a regular basis has allowed us to see that we can make time for life and things outside of work. on tuesday we start our third term of yoga classes. everyone loves yoga. we can stand on our head.
making these changes has lead to living a healthier lifestyle. our diet has changed. mostly for the good. getting to sleep is easier and self care is a regular thing. also someone in here knows how to cook. 🙂