flashbacks

flashbacks. a word that can shake even the strongest person. a new cycle has begun. not the most pleasant thing. but it brings with it information. 

i have had several cycles of flashbacks over the last couple of years. i seem to have a pattern. the initial flashback. its only a couple of seconds long. one image. that makes no sense to me.  then more images that go together to make a memory. then the barrage of body memories that go with the memory. the flashback of the full memory with emotions and body memories repeats itself a few times. then only the body memories stay around. this cycle can last from one hour to a few days.

what is contained in the flashbacks is steadily becoming more intense and more horrific to experience. so i guess as a system we are making progress. after all the mind only ever gives us what it thinks we can handle. 

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