Monthly Archives: June 2012

Jekyll and Hyde

i am Jekyll and Hyde again.  i wake up to find a paper trail of other parts living in my body while i think i am asleep. they buy things on ebay, eat not so good food and one of them smokes. … Continue reading

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fog

i have been trying to post for a couple of days now. i keep getting interrupted. not by life but by my other internal parts. i get cut off. distracted. switched out. any way to stall me from using my … Continue reading

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roller coaster

my internal system is in flux. i keep losing time to little ones who don’t know how to communicate with us. i have had a huge memory recovery recently. so everything is kinda up in the air. i thought things … Continue reading

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journey down the rabbit hole

again i am nocturnal. this last bout of flashbacks, nightmares and the opening of a memory of abuse has thrown my whole internal system out of whack. when i think i am sleeping,  i awake to find evidence of lost … Continue reading

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layers

i have been looking at the layers inside. not the layers of feelings. not the layers of the body and soul. but the layers of dissociation. the layers of my internal system. how it works and why. what i know … Continue reading

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feelings . . .

today the feelings started. those intense, deep, feelings that drag me down like rocks into the ocean. not the nice fluffy feelings that help me to remember that the world is still beautiful. the feelings connected to the abuse memories. … Continue reading

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dear universe . . .

it is a rare occasion that i get to write anything. there are so many other parts who avidly jump on the laptop and try to wear out its keys as they let the thoughts translate into words. but today … Continue reading

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being ok with my new internal system

it has been almost a week. i think. of living with the “new to me” internal system. things are not that different. they really aren’t. the knowledge of how my life works is still accessible. i went to work. the … Continue reading

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when your world turns on its head

i realize i may have been a bit naive. it seemed to me that i had discovered how my internal system works. what was left was to deal with the aftermath of the abuse and life in general.  that seems to … Continue reading

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flashbacks

flashbacks. a word that can shake even the strongest person. a new cycle has begun. not the most pleasant thing. but it brings with it information.  i have had several cycles of flashbacks over the last couple of years. i … Continue reading

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