i wanted to post about our inner little ones. a lot of people i know have been discovering their inner little ones lately. it can be a very painful process. so i have decided to share what i know about the initial communications of our little ones and how we coped and managed during their discovery.
my first experience of contact with an inner little one was not through speech internally. it was a feeling. an unbridled excitement inside that i could not place. as quickly as it came, it was gone. then later i felt a huge rush of sadness. such agony that there are no words. the inner little one who was trying to make contact with me had no voice. so she communicated with feelings. and when she realized that i was listening, she would show me images. of things she wanted, like a bowl of grapes. or memories she carried, like abuse.
at this stage my internal system had not yet developed shared memory. so these images and feelings flooded everyone inside. as the part she was trying to communicate with i would write for her. she would read what i had written and if i was correct i would feel her relief at being understood. so i wrote for her in our weekly email to our therapist.
it took many months, but eventually she spoke. she wrote first. her language was exactly like a 3 year old. as that was her age. there was a relief amongst my parts that the images and feelings had lessened. and she wrote a lot. having had no voice for such a long time, she had a lot to say.